**In Conversation with Bianchor Bolden:** *Founder of* *Beyond Da’Core*

There’s a quiet tension many of us live with: wanting deeper connection, while avoiding the conversations that actually create it.

We scroll. We distract. We assume. And often, we tell ourselves that time will smooth things over, that closeness will return on its own. But connection doesn’t work that way.

In this conversation, we sat down with Bianchor Bolden, founder of Beyond Da’Core, to talk about what it really means to be intentional in our relationships. Not in a polished, performative sense, but in the everyday moments where communication feels uncomfortable, vulnerable, or inconvenient.

Born from a season of new motherhood and reflection, Beyond Da’Core is rooted in a simple but often overlooked truth: relationships don’t deepen by accident. They deepen when we’re willing to ask, listen, and stay present—even when it would be easier not to.

What follows is a conversation about culture, communication, and why learning to talk—with others and with ourselves—is an essential form of care.

Q: What was going on in your life when the idea for Beyond Da’Core first started taking shape?

At the time, I had just had a baby a few months prior. It was the beginning of a new year, early 2023, and I was thinking about what I could do to start a business. Initially, I was honestly looking for something that could be a form of passive income while I figured out what I truly wanted to build long-term. Beyond Da’Core grew out of that season.

Q: You often come back to the idea of being intentional about connection. What does that actually look like for you in daily life?

Intentionality has always been a part of my life, and I don’t think that will ever change. On a day-to-day level, it looks like thinking ahead—about conversations I need to have, things I need to address, or feelings I don’t want to ignore.

Whether it’s with my husband, my children, or my friends, I strongly believe that if something is on your mind, it deserves to be expressed respectfully. For me, intentionality means being thoughtful and considerate, and choosing to talk things through instead of holding them in and letting emotions build up.

Q: A lot of people want deeper relationships but avoid certain conversations. Why do you think that is?

I think a lot of it comes from culture. We’re surrounded by messages that promote surface-level connection—“Netflix and chill,” no questions asked, no real emotional engagement.

Especially for women, there’s often a fear of being seen as needy, clingy, or “too much.” Because of that, many people hide their true desires, whether that’s wanting commitment, marriage, or children, and push those conversations aside, hoping they’ll come up naturally. But most of the time, they don’t. How a relationship begins usually sets the tone for how it continues… and often how it ends.

Q: Your tools help structure conversations without making them feel stiff or uncomfortable. Why was that important to you?

Because no one wants to feel interrogated. People open up when they feel safe and relaxed. If a conversation feels too serious or clinical, most people shut down, give surface-level answers, or avoid it altogether.

My goal was always to support intimacy, regardless of the topic. Creating a sense of ease allows people to actually connect instead of putting their guard up. That balance was really important to me, especially in meeting the needs of the people using the tools.

Q: You’ve spoken about conversations as something that continues over time, not just one moment. Why does having something to return to matter?

Because one conversation usually isn’t enough. Most topics have layers. When you revisit conversations over time, it allows you to unpack things more deeply… almost like peeling back layers of an onion.

Sometimes, it’s only through talking things out that we even realize what we believe or feel. There are insights and realizations that don’t surface until we give ourselves space to reflect and communicate.

Q: How has building Beyond Da’Core changed the way you show up in your own relationships?

Beyond Da’Core is really an extension of how I already showed up in my relationships. I’ve always been the person asking the questions. The brand didn’t create that; it came from my own life.

That said, growth and maturity naturally evolve how you connect. I’m not perfect, but intentional conversation has always been a cornerstone in how I relate to my friends and my husband.

Q: For someone who feels disconnected but doesn’t know where to start, what’s one small thing you’d suggest they try?

Start by checking in with yourself. Ask whether the feeling of disconnection is actually coming from the other person or from assumptions you’ve made internally. Sometimes we attach meaning to actions that were never clarified.

If the disconnection is on your end, explore why. If it’s between you and someone else, have the conversation, whether all at once or in smaller moments, depending on what feels safest.

I don’t believe in sitting in silence and hoping time will fix things. Time alone doesn’t heal wounds. Conversation over time does.

Q: After someone engages with Beyond Da’Core, what do you hope stays with them?

I hope they walk away understanding the value of communication not just with their partner, but with themselves. These questions aren’t only about learning from someone else. They often lead you to realize things about yourself that you hadn’t considered before.

My goal is to bring relationships back to the basics. In a culture that over-sexualizes connection, I want to remind people that communication is the foundation of intimacy.

What stands out most in Bianchor’s reflections isn’t just her emphasis on communication; it’s her insistence that conversation is an ongoing practice.

Not a single “big talk.” Not a perfectly timed moment. But a willingness to return again and again with honesty, curiosity, and care.

In a culture that often prioritizes convenience over clarity and chemistry over communication, her work is a reminder that intimacy begins with presence. That silence doesn’t heal what we refuse to name. And that understanding ourselves is just as important as understanding the people we’re in relationship with.

As February begins, a month often centered on love, this feels like an invitation to redefine what love actually looks like in practice. Less performance. More intention. Less assumption. More conversation.

If you’re feeling called to deepen that work this month, here are a few ways to explore support: Book a session here, or stay connected on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Tiktok.

—

Beyond Da’Core exists for those who want to deepen connection with intention through conversation that invites honesty, reflection, and growth over time. Founded by Bianchor Bolden, the brand offers tools that help people move beyond assumption and into understanding. Learn more or explore their offerings at https://www.beyonddacore.com, and follow along on Instagram or Tiktok.

What Happens When We Actually Talk About It